She was your lover, your boo, your amazing S.O. It seemed meant to be…until it wasn’t. You broke up and now the two of you lead separate lives. So…why are you dreaming of her? It should be over, right? 

Most of us have moments where we dream about a past relationship, even when those relationships happened years ago. Ex-partners seem to come into dreams at the weirdest times. Did you want to know what this dream means? Here’s the truth. 

What Does It Mean To Dream About Your Ex-Girlfriend?

1. If it’s a recent breakup, it could be that you miss your ex. 

If your current life involves a recent breakup, then you don’t need dream analysis to figure out what’s going on. Many people tend to dream of a recent ex-girlfriend when they miss them. Breakups tend to make us yearn for people, even if they were bad for us. 

Ex dreams tend to be particularly common during a bad breakup. You can’t escape how you feel about your ex. Sometimes you just have to ride it out. It’s normal to miss someone who was part of your routine. 

This can be an indication that you are having a hard time letting go of your recent ex. It may be a good time to block her on social media so that you can at least get some space from her. 

2. This could also be a call to change your behavior as a partner.

Be honest about the circumstances with your ex. Were you a good partner to her? If your waking life is one where you terrorized her, insulted her, and neglected her, those ex-girlfriend dreams could be a wake-up call. 

If your dream made you feel sadness or regret for what you did as her boyfriend, then it may be time to reexamine your behavior. That’s your conscience talking. It may be too late for this relationship, but you might avoid similar mistakes in future relationships.

3. Your current relationship is not what it should be. 

If your existing relationship in real life tends to be bad, you shouldn’t be shocked when you dream of an ex-girlfriend who was kinder to you. Dreams of an ex who you enjoyed being with often happen when you yearn for the past.

Take a look at the relationship you’re in. Do you find yourself missing the traits your ex had? Maybe it was something about how she was a great cook, or even the intimate life you had. Regardless, this is a sign that you may feel wistful about your relationship. 

This doesn’t mean that you should call your ex-girlfriend. It does mean that there are latent issues in your relationship that could use work. Whether or not they are fixable is not always easy to read, but in most cases, it’s doable as long as both of you want to fix it. 

4.  You may also be reliving the trauma. 

An abusive ex can show up in dreams for the worst reasons. Having a girlfriend who abused you can lead to long-lasting anxiety, almost like a permanent scar on your psyche. If you have nightmares about her coming back into your life, you may have PTSD. 

Do you still panic if you hear her name? This could be an indicator that it may be time to seek professional help to deal with your breakup. Your trauma could affect your current partner if you leave it unchecked, so do it as soon as you can. 

5. Your intimate life leaves much to be desired. 

Sometimes, it’s not a quirk in psychology that leaves you dreaming about an ex-girlfriend. Rather, it could be that you miss what she used to do between the sheets. Take a look at your current love life–more specifically, your intimate life. 

If you don’t have a sex partner or have been dealing with boredom in the bedroom, it could be that your dream is nostalgia. You miss the moves your ex did, not your ex in particular. Sexual fantasies can be strange that way.

6. There’s also a chance that you need closure or have unfinished business with this ex.

We all hear of relationships that just break on a cliffhanger, or just don’t quite end the way normal relationships should. Whether it’s a ghosting scenario or a scenario where things just were cut off prematurely doesn’t matter. What matters is how you feel. 

Sometimes, our dreams are there to signal when we haven’t been getting the full scope of our karma out of a relationship. Did you leave words left unsaid? Did she suddenly bail on you without warning? 

This dream can indicate that you have more to do before this relationship is fully in the ground. Even if it is just addressing past trauma or admitting that you were wrong, you need to look at what could be done. Or heck, it could be a reminder that you should do better.

It’s important to remember that you do not get closure from an ex. Rather, you get it from getting a good lesson about your love life, your needs, and what you should do. If you need to, ask others for their perspectives on the topic. 

The closure comes from within. It’s time to give yourself that. 

7. In some cases, it could be a sign that you may see your ex again soon.

If your ex played a huge part in your life, you could be karmically linked. In these events, you may end up having a moment where you are reunited with the person you dreamt of. In some cases, this is a sign that you will have negative feelings addressed. 

In other cases, it could be that your reunion could be a happy one. This could be a sign that you will end up righting wrongs that have happened and that you may end up together after a lot of stuff has happened. 

Not all breakups are meant to be permanent. Sometimes, it’s a matter of “Goodbye for Now!”

8. In some cases, you also could dream of an ex when you get over her.

The psychology behind dreams is strange at times. Sometimes, the reason that you dream of an ex is that your brain is finally parsing out all the feelings you’ve been harboring about her. 

We all go through different types of grief, and how our minds handle it isn’t always easy to understand. If you have started to walk through unresolved issues in recent years, then this could be your unconscious mind saying it’s okay to let go.

Think about your mood when you woke up. Do you feel at peace about a once-toxic relationship? Do you find yourself feeling less insecure? Then this could be a sign that your mind is telling you that you’ve finally gotten over a breakup. 

9. You could also be feeling guilty about how things went down. 

Did you have a tumultuous relationship with your ex? Did you treat her poorly or cheat on her? If you felt like the breakup is your fault, then you could be dreaming of your ex as a subconscious form of guilt. 

Your guilt could be a sign that you wished you showed her more affection, or at the very least, didn’t hurt her. Believe it or not, this can be a sign that you can do right by her later on. Or rather, this is a sign that you should do better for your next partner. 

There is not much you can do to assuage the guilt that comes with mistreating former lovers. Your mental health is not going to get better mulling over it, though. You can, however, work on becoming better for your next partner. 

10. You could also just miss a part of your past. 

Most people remember exes by the time they were dating them. For example, you might remember an ex-wife from those younger years when you were a lithe 20-year-old. Or, if you dream of your first love, it could be more about high school. 

If you have been dreaming about someone from a time long ago, the context of the dream might not matter as much as the context of how you know that person. You very well may be nostalgic about the times when you were young. 

This may be a sign that you may want to take a trip down memory lane. It’s okay to get a little misty-eyed over the past, especially during harder times. 

Last Words

Did you recently dream about an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife? What happened in the dream, and what resulted from it? Tell us your story in the comments below.